2016-2021 guide for Surviving Facebook

*Utilize the features at your disposal. Such as, unfriending people that really don’t matter to you either way. You can go as far as blocking them while you’re at it.
*Relatives or close friends you love , but can’t tolerate their ignorance, hypocrisy, hate, bigoted views, etc.. but you just can’t bring yourself to remove them? Simply go to their profile and select the “unfollow” option. That should make it to where their annoying posts never make their way in your personal newsfeed.
*Have that one friend who seems to make it their mission to refute everything you post, but never seems to add anything positive or of worth to your threads? Simple! On posts where you want to have a productive discussion and just aren’t in the mood for their shit you will select the box right under your name before submitting your post. Options will appear. Select “friends except” and choose the person or people in which you don’t want to hear from. Make your post and it will be as if you never posted it as far as they’re concerned. You can even simplify it for next time and put those people in a list labelled – “Annoyance Begone” & for future posts You just have to select your list without having to individually click on each person. You can even add to your annoyance Begone list later on if other friends start to annoy you.
*Let’s say you make a comment on someone’s post that turns into a full blown shit show and as much as you want to stop engaging those notifications keep pulling you back and you later regret even commenting, but you sure as hell do not want to delete your contribution to the thread. You will need to click on the little arrow next to the post and select the “Turn off notifications” option which should stop you from receiving notifications back to the post. There are some exceptions, such as, if they were to tag you back to the post which could get annoying. Nicely ask the person to stop and if they don’t refer to step one of this guide for how to put an abrupt stop to it.
*Did a page you follow post something annoying or a stance that completely differs from yours,but 99% of the time you like seeing posts from said page in your newsfeed? Simple! Select the arrow next to the post and select “hide post” the post will disappear right in front of your eyes , like magic! (Works for posts by personal friends as well) Way more efficient than let’s say engaging on such a post only to ensure you’re exposed to it that much more. And also way less dramatic then unliking the page all together and posting a goodbye speech people will just laugh at anyway because 9 times out of 10 the page or the people on it couldn’t care less.
*Lastly and probably most efficient step of all that many people cannot bring themselves to do. Log off Facebook, read a book, eat some cheese, wine works too, although I’m not sure there is enough wine in the world to get through the next four years, but the good news is if you live in California, Colorado, Nevada, Massachusetts, North Dakota, Florida, Arkansas, you can simply legally smoke your way through these next four years. I am positive that this guide will help make Facebook a little less annoying and a little more tolerable for you. If not , I suggest moving back to Myspace.

I Suffered Postpartum Depression In Silence & It Almost Cost Me My Life.

By: Kristy Kemp

November is mental health awareness month so I figured I would share my own story.

I have been battling depression since as long as I can remember. Some days are great, some days not so great, & some days total despair. My PMDD doesn’t help matters either. I have had a few attempts made on my life that thankfully were not successful , but led me to be hospitalized. Once in Junior High and the other was a year or so after I had my son. Postpartum depression hit me so hard and the crazy part was I wasn’t even aware. Depression has been a constant in my life which is why I really didn’t notice much of a change , but looking back there was.

Postpartum depression is in my opinion one of the worst because you feel so guilty and ashamed for having these feelings as a new mom. Before I had my son depression was just about me, but when it happens after you have a child or because you had a child , it makes you doubt yourself not just as a person, but as a mother. You feel like you should be gleaming with joy and when that joy never gets the memo to enter you , you feel like that makes you unfit to be a mom. You feel like you don’t deserve to be a mom. Why do I feel so much despair? Does this mean I don’t love my baby? If I talk to someone about it, are they gonna judge me? Will they take my baby away from me?

What I didn’t know then was that my PPD was not a reflection on how much love I have for my son. My PPD did not and does not define me. That I can feel this way and it doesn’t mean I love my son any less. That I can have bad days and that has no reflection on what kind of mother I am. That I am a person too . I have feelings and emotions of my own that has nothing to do with the fact I have a child. Moms who suffer from PPD not only have the worry with why they feel that way and how they can feel better, but they have the guilt and the shame for not feeling pure happiness and joy like most new moms feel.

We need to fight the stigma. We do so by talking about PPD/Depression/Anxiety more. We need to let moms know it’s not their fault and is no reflection on them as mothers. We need to do whatever it takes to make them feel as safe as possible to open up and ask for help. PPD in and of itself is not dangerous, but  fighting PPD alone is very much so. I should know. I was that mom suffering in silence. I was that mom in tears all day and night in deep despair. I’m that mom that almost took her own life and left her son without a mom. If a mom doesn’t feel comfortable enough asking for help or scared to, that is on us as a society. Society spends so much time criticizing and nitpicking moms for every single thing they do. They should be able to spare some of that time and energy and focus on taking the stigma away from PPD/Anxiety/Depression.

There is not enough awareness on this topic so when a mom is showing signs of PPD the people closest to her may not even notice. Then there are those who try to discuss what they are feeling, only to be told that she will “just get over it” invalidating and dismissing her cries for help.

To this day , I still have overwhelming guilt, shame, & regret about my Postpartum Depression. For someone like me who is aware of PPD and educated on it & still struggles with it , can you imagine what other moms must be feeling who may have no idea what it all means?

Each year approximately 950,000 women are suffering from Postpartum depression. Despite all our advancements , many people do not even recognize or acknowledge depression is an illness, let alone Postpartum depression. There are many people out there who think depression is a “choice.” Can you imagine how that would make a mom feel? Being told that she feels this horrible by choice? Depression in any form is not a choice. I can choose to get treatment, I can choose to take medication, and I can choose to not suffer alone, but I did not choose to have postpartum depression and neither does anyone else.

I am a mom and I suffer with depression . I share my story as my contribution to Mental Health Awareness month. I hope by sharing my story it can help just one mom know she isn’t alone and that her depression does not define her or her worth as a mom. I was one of the lucky ones who was able to pull through it, but unfortunately many are not so lucky. To this day, it’s a daily battle with depression , but I have so much worth fighting for.

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Math Professor Encourages Mom To Show Up To Class With Baby…

Continuing your education is not an easy feat. What about if you’re a mom? Not only that , but a breastfeeding mom? Over two million single mothers are balancing college and motherhood. [1]  Being a parent is already a daunting task. Which can make having a job and/or attending college very difficult. Which is why people are cheering about the photo Sarah Thompson posted to her Facebook page, of her Math professor teaching the class while holding Thompson’s baby. The post has gotten over 1,000 shares and almost six thousand likes!

Moms who choose to exclusively breastfeed need to breastfeed on demand and/or pump in place, if baby is not able to nurse at that time. We often hear stories of breastfeeding moms being shamed for needing to breastfeed in a public setting, but  Professor Dr. Josie Ryan, seemed very supportive of the fact Sarah breastfeeds. Some professors are not as patient or kind about it.

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“She knew I’d be overwhelmed, she literally begged me to bring Isaiah to class & even showed me where the breastfeeding room in the health center was, at Lander University. It’s so reassuring to know there are professors out there like this.”

Thompson hopes that by sharing her experience it might encourage other moms to ask for help when they need it.

Sarah Thompson wrote this with the picture-

“SPREAD the word & SHARE!!- This is my Math professor Dr. Josie Ryan with my son…She is amazing. She knows I worked and continued school @ USC while pregnant this past semester&Summer & I started her class the week before I had my son in August & started attending her class again the week after I had him. She knew I’d be overwhelmed so literally begged me to bring Isaiah to class & even showed me where the breastfeeding room in the health center was at Lander University. It’s so reassuring to know there are professors out there like this. Not only is she an amazing person, she’s also one of the best math professors I’ve ever had.. Brillant really.. She’s wacky & the best kind of nerdy.. the kind I can relate to lol.. but hey!- maybe the world needs more of these teachers!.. scratch that- it DEF does! Hopefully this post will encourage other educators or moms or pregnant/working women who are students to ask for help. She’s encouraged me constantly & I’ve brought him to our Real Analysis class multiple times now & he was an angel every time. He’ll cut the cheese & make the class giggle from time to time but we still get down to some serious math in there. I am in a perfect world when I am learning math in college with my baby right next to me.. or in my teachers arms lol.. She taught like this-holding him- the whole first class I brought him to. He’s 3 weeks old in this picture. Women are on the rise going to school & working with children. And my Boyfriend & family are beyond supportive of my decision to graduate within the first year of his birth & I couldn’t do this without them. It’s hard- but with support like this, how can I lose if I trust God & believe in myself!?”

You can find the original post (HERE)

Halloween Photo Contest From Fairhaven Health! Win $100!

 

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Fairhaven Health is having a Spook*Tacular Photo Contest! Send in a picture of your kids (or your bump) dressed up for Halloween to win. Visit fairhavenhealth.com/halloween-contest2016.html to enter!

Be sure to provide them with all the juicy details about your photo in the “Photo caption” section of the entry form Your photo must be original and taken this year. Submissions must be received by November 1st. The Fairhaven Health staff will choose their top 3 favorite photos. The prize breakdown is as follows:

  • First place = $100 in Fairhaven Health products
  • Second place = $50 in Fairhaven Health products
  • Third place = $25 in Fairhaven Health products

They will announce the winners Wednesday, November 2nd! Winners can choose any product they offer for sale at fairhavenhealth.com. You will receive an email with a special one-time use coupon code for the products of your choosing.

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Educating People About Breastfeeding

At Breastfeeding Mama Talk we get a ton of messages that come in . Some are concerned mamas unsure of what to do about sore nipples, some are trolls telling us where to stick it, and then every once in awhile we get a chance to really educate someone. It went something like this.

Man messaged us and this was his question-

“Something I have always wondered about when it comes to breastfeeding. Why do women feel it is okay to breastfeed in public, but feel it is rude when a man looks at her breasts? I am not trying to start any argument on this page, just wondering what are some other views on the subject.”

Our Reply-

“I appreciate you being open and wanting to ask us a question.

The biological reason for breasts are for nursing a child. Along the way, they have become sexual objects. Of course there is a biological component as well for men to become attracted to breasts. For one, your instincts tell you that a woman with large hips and breasts will be able to bear children and feed them. You may not be thinking that in your mind of course, but ingrained in your being is that drive to find a woman to pass on your genetics. What has happened in our culture though, is this push of sex in our society. They use breasts and sex to sell all products from music videos to the soda you drink. They almost have warped the fact that breasts are for nursing. A woman can walk around a mall with half of her boobs coming out of her shirt and nobody cares. But, if that same woman sits down and pulls her shirt down to nurse her child, everyone gives her dirty looks like she is doing something wrong and should cover herself and hide.

At the end of the day, as a man, or even as a woman myself, we are going to notice when a woman is nursing or takes her shirt down to nurse etc. Most people glance over, see what is going on, and then look away or go about their business etc. looking at a woman and noticing she is nursing is fine, staring at her while she nursing is not okay.

Women have legal protection to nurse wherever they are legally allowed to be. They are allowed to nurse covered or uncovered. Most women are very discrete about nursing, even without covers, and people don’t even notice them. The problem is when someone does notice and makes a scene or acts like a child because of it. I’m not sure if you saw the video where the woman was sitting at a seat in the cafe at a target. A older guy standing in line saw that she was nursing, told her she was a whore and disgusting and then went to the manager demanding that he have his money back. Like really?!?!

So I guess to answer your question. In general I understand that if a woman sits near you and takes her shirt down to nurse, the man in you is attracted to her breasts and wants to look, maybe you just think the act of nursing in general is a beautiful thing, and you want to look. But, to be polite, understand that the woman had a legal right to nurse her child wherever she needs to, and it’s just the right thing to do to just look away .”

Normally at this point we expect to hear an argument back, but instead this is what he said about it,

“Thank you for the reply.. That is a very informed and educated response. I asked the same question to another group administrator right before you. Her only logical statement was that they were legally allowed to. Even going as far as calling men perverts for even looking and saying that breasts should not be sexualized and that if it was were she lived bad things would happen if I looked. Thank you again for the logical response.”

Stephanie was the admin who responded to that man and I was really impressed with her response and told her I would like to share this exchange with the world.

Thanks to The Milkies Milk Saver I was Able to donate 1,000 Ounces of Breastmilk…

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My first baby, Violet, was born at home in March and, even after getting off to a rough start, she breastfed like a champ! We were SO thankful to have a good friend donate some of her milk to us that first week to help Violet before my milk came in. I discovered the Milk Saver a few weeks after she was born. I had a huge over supply at that point and was constantly soaking through everything – nursing pads, burp cloths, my clothes – and going through BOXES of disposable nursing pads. I started using the Milk Saver on the opposite side during feedings and would get anywhere from 1-4 ounces of milk (per side) that would leak while I was feeding her. It made me SO happy and excited to be able to save this precious milk — AND it was so much more convenient than being soaked all of the time! I was saving around 100 ounces per week without ever even having to pump! Not too long after, I was connected with a mama in need of milk for her newborn son. It was the first time I donated and I went on to donate around 1,000 ounces to her and a couple of other babies, as well! It gave me so much joy to be able to help these babies grow and thrive – especially after we had been the recipient of such a gift in the beginning! After 5 months or so, my milk supply had finally regulated to what my daughter needed, so I’ve had to back away from donating for now – but I am so thankful for the blessing of a good supply, and the gift that it has been to share that with others.

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Easy to use, simply slip the Milk-Saver into your bra-cup on the non-nursing side before you breastfeed. The Milk-Saver collects the milk that is leaked when your breast milk lets down. Once you’ve finished your breastfeeding session, simply transfer the collected milk into storage containers and keep it in the refrigerator or freezer to feed your baby at a later time. Find the Milk Saver HERE … 

The Night I Almost Quit Breastfeeding…

By: Christine Leeb

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It was 2 am. I was holding my second child, only 3 months old, tightly in her swaddle as she squirmed and opened her mouth looking for something to soothe her hungry belly. I walked through the kitchen and stopped. I looked left. I looked right. I pondered which way to turn.

After a long rocky road to actually getting breastfeeding to finally work…after fighting off mastitis infection after mastitis infection…after a horrible kidney stone which led to a kidney infection which led to taking antibiotics that weren’t recommended for breast-feeding…after pumping and dumping for 14 days…I had a choice. I could either turn left and go into the dark family room where I would snuggle her up against me, take out my breast, and see if she would latch on after so long without it. Or I could turn right and head towards the refrigerator to warm up some formula in a bottle that she had already gotten used to. It was time to make a choice. I was at a breastfeeding crossroads, if you will.

I stood there for the longest time…in the dark…thinking…looking left…looking right…pondering my options…wondering what the heck to do.

On the one hand, it would be so easy to quit at this point…

• She was already used to formula.

• She was already used to a bottle.

• I could be done.

• I could have more freedom.

• I wouldn’t have to be the only one that got up with her in the middle of the night to feed her.

• I made it a lot longer than I did with my first child.

• Breast-feeding for two and a half months is nothing to be upset about.

• The bottle was waiting and ready to go!

Turning right seemed to be the easiest choice and to be honest, the choice I was leaning towards.

On the other hand, it would be nice to keep going…

• All the pumping and dumping I did has to be worth my time! (And those who have been attached to your breast pump know how difficult it is to do when you have a toddler running around and a newborn screaming to be held. Often times I would be pumping, trying to read a story to my 3 year old, and bouncing my newborn in a bouncy seat with my right foot. Selfishly, I wanted this 14-day pump-a-thon to be worth it!)

• What if she took to the breast again and kept breast-feeding for a long time?

• Breastfeeding is so much more convenient.

• I would have more snuggle time and bonding time and just me and her time.

• I will never know unless I try.

And so I tried. I turned left. I walked into the family room with my sweet little swaddled buddle, who at this point didn’t care what I did as long as I put some sort of food-giving apparatus in her mouth. I sat down on the couch. My heart was pounding. I put my nipple in her mouth. I held my breath. I said a prayer. Will she take it?

She did! I couldn’t believe that after all this time, she nursed again. What a trooper! For eight more months, I had the privilege of nursing my sweet baby girl–snuggling, bonding, having that special one-on-one time that no one else in the world could ever give to her.

It wasn’t perfect. I continued to get infections and milk blebs and clogged ducts, but we did it. We persevered through it all…together. I’m so grateful that I didn’t quit. I’m so grateful that I turned left and decided to at least try…because had I turned right, I would have always wondered.

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CHRISTINE LEEB is known as The Real Mom.  She is a speaker, writer, Christian Life Coach, and the founder of 4Real Moms—providing moms with real solutions for real life to help them be the best moms God created them to be. She has 3 beautiful (and exhausting) children and has been married to her husband, Brad, for almost 16 wonderful (and challenging) years.  She enjoys garage sale-ing, brownie eating, friendship keeping, book reading, family tickling, and husband dating.