I just need to hear that we’re doing okay.

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By: Kristy Kemp

This poem is very personal to me. I share some of my emotions, fears, worries after I had my son, Zander. I have shared my story in the past that I had anything but a perfect breastfeeding journey. You can find that story here… 

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Giving birth seems like the easy part, because it’s what came after that gave me a rough start.

Is the car seat installed right? Am I producing enough milk? Will he latch? Will I ever get through this clueless rough patch? 

Why does it seem like he always wants to feed maybe my breasts aren’t fulfilling his needs. 

The hospital staff seemed really sweet, but they seemed just as clueless as me when it came to breastfeeding. 

No family nearby no friends to see and hubby back to work one week after I gave birth. 

Just sitting at home all alone feeling stressed and I felt like a big giant mess. 

Finally my milk is in! Mommy for the win!

Nurse all day nurse all night I hope I’m doing this right… 

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why does he want to nurse so much? I swear I must not be producing enough. Maybe it’s time to give him formula. 

I had no one to tell me that everything was alright. That his need to nurse constantly was biologically the way nature intended for things to be. 

No one told me to nurse loud and free publicly, so in the hot car, I sat nursing my baby. 

My nipples hurt, the leaked through shirts, the nursing pads that felt so awkward.

The crying spouts, the constant doubts, the questions, & the second guesses.

Will this feeling ever go away? I just need to hear that we’re doing okay. 

His first well check I left feeling even more hopeless. He lost ten ounces since his birth my breastmilk may not be enough so doc says supplement with formula.  

I insisted to nurse, I pulled us through, and for a good three months from my breasts he grew. 

But from lack of support and no pats on the back I thought why continue nursing if formula was adequate. 

To this day I do regret ending our nursing relationship, but I do give myself props for the little breastmilk I did give. 

Moms need to know that the support is there, they need to see that someone cares. 

Moms need to know from the very start that some moments will be hard, but they will pull through it & there are people out there to help them do it. 

Moms need to know that not all advice is sound even if it comes out of a doctors mouth. second guess the outside voices not themselves and shush all those worries and doubts. 

Make small goals take it day by day and I promise you mama you will be okay. 

 

 

 

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