No One Gets A Say In How I Breastfeed But Me…

Have you ever been told that you should make a choice that you don’t feel is right for you or in the best interest of your baby? Some people act as though they should get some kind of a say in someone else’s breastfeeding choices.

*Statement – “Well it’s his baby too so you should pump so daddy can experience the bond you get with feeding as well.” OR “It’s not that hard to pump enough bottles for when you go out in public.”

Answer- No! A mom should not be guilted into pumping when direct latch breastfeeding is working fine for her. While I love that moms have the OPTION to pump if they NEED it I don’t feel like just because the option is there people assume that she would automatically be okay using it. If mom is comfortable with pumping and wants the help from daddy and decides to pump good for her , but criticizing her for not being okay to pump or EXPECTING she would pump is not okay.

*Statement- “I realize you need to feed your baby in public , but what is the big deal about just throwing a light cover over yourself? Not everyone is comfortable seeing it?”

Answer- First of all, I could say the same to you, “I realize you aren’t comfortable seeing me feed my baby in public, but what is the big deal for you to just not look my way?” I will never understand the people who think a mom should put a strangers comfort or even her own family or in laws over her baby’s comfort and her own. I recently wrote a blog stating 9 different reasons why a mom may not use a cover there are many reasons why and not one of them include, “Because I want to show my boobs to the world and upset people.” There are many things that I’m not comfortable seeing in public , but I don’t go around asking people to cover it up with a blanket. Same should apply to breastfeeding moms.

 

*Statement- “Your child doesn’t need to breastfeed after like one or two because they get their nutrition from food and I feel like if your  adamant that they still get breastmilk pump and give it to them in a cup or just wean them all together.” 

Answer- Breastfeeding isn’t just about the milk. Number one the natural weaning age is actually 7-8. True story. So a mom choosing to continue breastfeeding after one, two, three, four plus is natural and the biological norm. It’s not even technically “extending” I hate when people use the term ‘Extended breastfeeding” because it makes it sound like they are extending something that should have been stopped earlier. So it would actually be called natural term weaning. Some also call it full term breastfeeding. Meaning mom will breastfeed her child until it is no longer mutually desired. The benefits of consuming breastmilk do not stop on a child’s birthday. Please realize that all children have something that comforts them, be it a bottle, pacifier, blanket, or a boob. If a mom is choosing to continue breastfeeding it is because she feels like it’s what her child needs,  she is the mom, so respect that, and move on…

Statement- “Why do you nurse so often? You shouldn’t let your baby use you like a pacifier.”

Answer- “Did you know that the pacifier was created to replicate a human nipple? Babies have a biological urge to suckle so it only makes sense they would want to suckle on breast for comfort and it’s perfectly okay that they do. Since babies breastfeed for more than just milk it doesn’t necessarily mean that baby is even getting milk out every time they suckle.  Breastmilk also digests faster than formula which means they will and can eat more frequently.”

Statement- “You really shouldn’t drink any alcohol or have caffeine as a breastfeeding mom everything you put in your body will go straight to the baby too.”

Answer- ‘Not true. Breastfeeding and pregnancy are different in the regard that a breastfeeding mom has a little more freedom in what will be passed to baby. For instance if she were to consume alcohol & breastfed a couple hours after her first drink little to none would go to baby because alcohol leaves the milk and does not accumulate meaning a mom could breastfeed and pass not a drop of it to her baby. Studies show that caffeine will not harm the baby so it’s okay that a mom enjoys a cup of coffee in the morning. People try to place so many rules and restrictions on moms which scares them away from breastfeeding as they start to doubt their own body because of it.”

The gist here is that nobody, not even the father of the baby should have a say in how a woman breastfeeds. Be it how long she feels it’s necessary to breastfeed, how she breastfeeds in public, covered or not, and whether or not she wants to pump. Nobody, but the owner of the body gets a say in how they use it and that applies to men as well. Yes there is a baby involved with breastfeeding and while the baby may belong to both parents only one (in most cases)  is using their body to nourish the child and it is a woman and a baby’s birth right to breastfeed and give their human milk to their human child. All the other ways a child can get nourished are alternatives to breastfeeding. Just because there are other options it doesn’t mean that a mom should be forced into them…

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